It hits me hardest days later.

My car smells of cigarettes and cologne and it never really hit me as hard as it did today. The little world enclosed in glass and assorted metal was my time machine for a single moment. I freeze close my eyes BREATHE. And I remember every hug where I'd breathe you in and be rendered intoxicated. We were never lovers. But I'd like to think we were more than best friends. We were connnected, we were lost souls searching to become entangled in something that would make us happy. And we did. Today some girl had a shirt on that had Ciao Ciao written on it with the Coca-Cola font. It had Roma underneath. I told the girl I liked her shirt as I stared at it long enough to make her uncomfortable. "My best friend would love that shirt." Cue sigh.

So from now on, anything and everything is finding a way to remind me of you. Black BMW M3 tailights on the freeway, Dolce & Gabbana, Santana Row, The Like, The Cardigans, hellogoodbye, Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, my room, my giant paperclip, I.D. magazine, Marlboro Lights 100's, the scent of cigarettes and Marc Jacobs.

All of this and we have yet to call each other since your departure.

I am not letting another hiatus come into existence. Because

you + I

are the

best things

to ever

have

happened

to

each other.

--Lauren

[what was ... what will be]