"You're fucking amazing. Don't lose that." "Thanks Lauren."

Another step in the process of breaking the surface.
(I think I have.)
I have yet to find out your contents but they are slowing seeping out like secrets to my eyes. Tonight was the second time we've had some sort of deep conversation, and tonight was the first night I've ever come close to expressing how I feel about you.

Maternal instincts make their presence known when someone as beautiful and talented as you thinks they have nothing to lose. Because you do. You have so much. Which is why it scares me when you think you can just get in, get what you want, and get out. It's never that easy. And it never comes free.

And I think even I surprised myself with the realization that I genuinely care for you. Fuck psychological brick walls and emotional forts, I'm breaking you in the best way. Because I see in you what they don't. Maybe that's why I constantly defend you when you're not around. They just don't value what I do. I'm your Karen O, because they don't love you like I love you.

You're fucking amazing and mixed up and beautiful and complicated and hidden and

never so much as now have I wanted to sit in silence with you and make you feel loved.

Dear boy, sometimes you have me in deeper than I thought I was.

--Lauren

[what was ... what will be]