The shooting star that destroyed us all.

LAmovementisdead: I am stoned
LAmovementisdead: NO
needederaseher: ?
LAmovementisdead: do you have the Fight Club book?
needederaseher: No.
needederaseher: But you should read it.
needederaseher: And I should finish it.
LAmovementisdead: I need it
LAmovementisdead: Lauren, I love you
LAmovementisdead: like Harrison Ford loves Luke Skywalker
LAmovementisdead: he loves a fiiiictional character
needederaseher: And that's a lot of love.
LAmovementisdead: word
LAmovementisdead: hahahaha
needederaseher: I love you, Coree
needederaseher: like
needederaseher: ...
needederaseher: let me think of a good one
needederaseher: like a stereotypical asian parent loves a daughter who plays piano and gets straight A's
needederaseher: now THAT's a lot of love.
LAmovementisdead: YEAHHHH
needederaseher: What are you doing Thursday?
needederaseher: We should go buy the book together.
LAmovementisdead: Amanda
LAmovementisdead: no, I'm not
LAmovementisdead: thursday night
LAmovementisdead: like, 5:30
LAmovementisdead: because I have bass from fawyer two fyve
needederaseher: Ok. We should hang out Thursday night then.
LAmovementisdead: wurdf
LAmovementisdead: wurd*
LAmovementisdead: I have a penis, but your name isn't, it's just your initials, because the name wouldn't fit. And just your first and last name
LAmovementisdead: hahahaha
needederaseher: ...
needederaseher: whattt
needederaseher: I have no idea what you just said.
LAmovementisdead: like "I have a penis with your name on it"
LAmovementisdead: but
needederaseher: well god, Coree, just come out and say it.
LAmovementisdead: your name didn't fit
LAmovementisdead: so it's your initials
LAmovementisdead: hahahahahaha
needederaseher: hahahah
needederaseher: OH
needederaseher: Ok.
LAmovementisdead: LAUREN
LAmovementisdead: YOU ARE SO SILLY
needederaseher: I'll settle for that I suppose?
LAmovementisdead: I know
needederaseher: Hey Coree, was there ever something you wanted to tell me but didn't
needederaseher: for one reason or another
LAmovementisdead: why do you ask?
LAmovementisdead: do you think I want you?
LAmovementisdead: do you think I'm gay?
LAmovementisdead: do you think I'm straight?
LAmovementisdead: what are your attentions?!?!?!
LAmovementisdead: heh
needederaseher: Fuck, I'm so horrible at this.
LAmovementisdead: get it straight out
needederaseher: I can't because I'm a complete idiot
needederaseher: and
LAmovementisdead: fucking do it
needederaseher: am currently rendered illiterate.
LAmovementisdead: fucking do it!
needederaseher: I'm asking you to fucking do it
needederaseher: Is
needederaseher: or
needederaseher: was
needederaseher: there anything
needederaseher: you never told me
needederaseher: that I would have wanted to know
LAmovementisdead: not that I know of
needederaseher: not a single thing
LAmovementisdead: what about you?
needederaseher: because you really hsould tell me
LAmovementisdead: LAUREN
LAmovementisdead: what do you really want?
needederaseher: kjnvibrguirg
needederaseher: I am an over-analytical piece of shit so I'm goign to try my hardest to find a way to word this.
LAmovementisdead: just fucking sayyy it
needederaseher: kjbfifgiugfgijbdfviubherg9uh
LAmovementisdead: lauren
LAmovementisdead: what?
needederaseher: It's pathetic that I can't even handle this.
needederaseher: kjbfdbkhsfgiuh
LAmovementisdead: Lauren
LAmovementisdead: get it the fuck out
LAmovementisdead: huh?
LAmovementisdead: come on
LAmovementisdead: Lauren!
needederaseher: Do you have any idea where I'm going with this?
LAmovementisdead: regardless, just tell me so I don't have to guess or be annoyed
needederaseher: If you know where I'm going with this you should really help me out.
LAmovementisdead: well, I don't
LAmovementisdead: so just go
needederaseher: I'm really sorry that this is taking so ridiculously long, just please be patient with me.
needederaseher: Because this is really fucking hard for me.
LAmovementisdead: okay
LAmovementisdead: just talk
LAmovementisdead: Laure
LAmovementisdead: Lauren*
LAmovementisdead: tell me
LAmovementisdead returned at 6:13:25 PM.
needederaseher: ok ok fuck I'm just going to say it.
needederaseher: and pardon me for making it sound all retarded if it does.
LAmovementisdead: go
needederaseher: Ok.
needederaseher: I know my timing is ridiculous
needederaseher: and
needederaseher: I never ever verbalize things like this
LAmovementisdead: hmmm
needederaseher: but seriously Coree
needederaseher: I fucking care about you
needederaseher: a lot.
needederaseher: and like I said before
needederaseher: I know my timing is ridiculous
needederaseher: So I'm not expecting you to say anything
needederaseher: and the reason why I didn't even say anything before now is because
needederaseher: a.) I'm a dumbass.
needederaseher: b.) I'm an overanalytic paranoid insecure person
needederaseher: and c.) because Ernest had told Nelly that you had said something about me.
needederaseher: and I can't believe I just told you all that.
needederaseher: hbdfiygsef
LAmovementisdead: wow
LAmovementisdead: in simple english?
needederaseher: ASSHOLE
needederaseher: don't make me fucking say it again
LAmovementisdead: okay, Lauren
needederaseher: kjhdfiuhsrge9uhgfihu
LAmovementisdead: I am baked off my ass
LAmovementisdead: but I mean
LAmovementisdead: can you like, explain the deal?
LAmovementisdead: please excuse me if I'm wrong
LAmovementisdead: but you have a thing for me?
needederaseher: fucking Coree I hope you're enjoying this.
LAmovementisdead: NO
needederaseher: kjbdsfihgsdgihsdgYES
LAmovementisdead: I'M SO LOST
LAmovementisdead: well, not anymore
LAmovementisdead: since when
needederaseher: since you popped out of your mom
needederaseher: DOES IT MATTER?!
LAmovementisdead: well, I mean
LAmovementisdead: because I felt the same
LAmovementisdead: but then I met Amanda
LAmovementisdead: and I didn't want to make a deal about it
LAmovementisdead: because I thought I was just being retarded
LAmovementisdead: but then I met her
needederaseher: fuck Coree why didn't you ever say anything
LAmovementisdead: and everything became clear
LAmovementisdead: because I thought you'd be like "oh man, that's too bad"
LAmovementisdead: and I decided that I didn't want to take a risk like that
LAmovementisdead: so I just surpressed it
needederaseher: fuck fuck fuck
needederaseher: I'm such a fucking idiot.
LAmovementisdead: no, you're not
needederaseher: I wish you would have said something.
LAmovementisdead: I'm sorry Lauren
needederaseher: I wish I would have said something.
LAmovementisdead: well, I didn't
needederaseher: I know.
needederaseher: Neither did I.
LAmovementisdead: so you have like, the whole time? or what?
needederaseher: Yes. The whole time.
LAmovementisdead: wow
LAmovementisdead: that's crazy
LAmovementisdead: you were two weeks late
needederaseher: Fuckfuckfuck73 op8 3v o8 7 t
LAmovementisdead: it's okay
LAmovementisdead: did you tell anyone?
needederaseher: Yes.
needederaseher: My friends all knew.
LAmovementisdead: whoaaaa
LAmovementisdead: that's crazy
LAmovementisdead: and why did you decide to tell me right after I meet someone and fall for her?
LAmovementisdead: while I'm stoned, no less
needederaseher: because I'm a fucking retard who was too insecure to saying anythign beforehand.
needederaseher: God I fucked up.
needederaseher: So badly.
LAmovementisdead: I'm so sorry Lauren
LAmovementisdead: I still love you
LAmovementisdead: you know
LAmovementisdead: and if you're ditching us on saturday because of this, I'm going to kill you
needederaseher: I don't know if I can handle Saturday.
LAmovementisdead: are you serious?
LAmovementisdead: what the fuck
needederaseher: Coree
needederaseher: do you realize
needederaseher: my life is like one pathetic cliche Dawson's Creek re-run.
LAmovementisdead: that sucks
LAmovementisdead: man, Lauren, if you had asked before friday, it would have been compeltely different
LAmovementisdead: but I'm not trying to make you feel dumb
LAmovementisdead: it's just crazy
needederaseher: Why didn't you ever tell me?
needederaseher: even if I didn't feel the same I wouldn't have made you feel bad about it
LAmovementisdead: because I thought it was just a weird notion of me having a crush on a really cool older person
needederaseher: so do you think that's what it was?
LAmovementisdead: I have no idea
LAmovementisdead: but that's what I convinced myself
LAmovementisdead: since I didn't think you had anything like that for me
LAmovementisdead: so
LAmovementisdead: wait
LAmovementisdead: you can't hang out with me
LAmovementisdead: ?
needederaseher: I don't know
LAmovementisdead: fuck!
needederaseher: I mean
needederaseher: jksfgibfgiuhb
needederaseher: this is just really complicated for me.
needederaseher: REALLY complicated.
needederaseher: And I wish I wasn't taking this so hard.
LAmovementisdead: don't
LAmovementisdead: you're one of my favorite people in the whole world
LAmovementisdead: seriously
needederaseher: you can't tell someone to just not react to something.
LAmovementisdead: I know, but it's not like I think you're disgusting and never want to talk to you
LAmovementisdead: in fact, I'd be pissed if we didn't talk after this
needederaseher: I would be too.
LAmovementisdead: so like
LAmovementisdead: you can't
LAmovementisdead: not talk to me
needederaseher: God Coree I really wish I hadn't been so fucking insecure and had just said something before.
needederaseher: And of course I still want to do Saturday.
needederaseher: It's just harder now
needederaseher: because I don't know
needederaseher: how to recover
needederaseher: like there is so fucking much to this.
LAmovementisdead: well, it's not like I'm asking you to take me and my girlfriend, and we'll make out in your backseat
LAmovementisdead: how much?
needederaseher: SO much.
needederaseher: It just really hurts because everything fits so ironically in such a way to make things as unbelieveably painful as possible.
LAmovementisdead: I'm so sorry
LAmovementisdead: funny, this seems like a story you'd tell
LAmovementisdead: well, ironic
needederaseher: Yeah.
LAmovementisdead: I'm so sorry Lauren
LAmovementisdead: so this whole entire time?
needederaseher: Yes, the whole fucking entire time
LAmovementisdead: jesus
needederaseher: I really want to believe that I can handle Saturday
LAmovementisdead: I want you to be able to
LAmovementisdead: so wait, it's a lot right? You wouldn't say this unless it's really important, right?
needederaseher: Yes.
needederaseher: It's a fucking lot.
needederaseher: Which would explain me taking it so hard.
LAmovementisdead: I'm so sorry
needederaseher: Don't be.
needederaseher: It just makes it harder.
needederaseher: See, it'd be a lot easier if it was some superficial thing I could just walk away from.
needederaseher: But I can't
needederaseher: because I fucking care about you
needederaseher: and it makes everything more complicated
needederaseher: it'd be easier if I didn't think you were such an amazing person
needederaseher: it'd be easier if we didn't connect as much
needederaseher: it'd be easier if we didn't become such good friends in such a short time
needederaseher: but it's not what's easier.
needederaseher: It's what IS.
needederaseher: And what IS fucking sucks.
needederaseher: But I can't do anything about it.
needederaseher: So I just need time to recover and re-evaluate a bunch of things.
LAmovementisdead: like what?
needederaseher: It's for me to worry about.
needederaseher: Because I can't risk you feeling sorry for me because I fucking hate pity.
LAmovementisdead: well, I'd rather know the whole story
needederaseher: I don't want to be the girl spilling her sob story in the hopes of campaigning for some kind of change in reality.
needederaseher: The reality is you don't feel that way anymore.
LAmovementisdead: you won't be
needederaseher: The reality is I have to deal with that.
LAmovementisdead: well, I don't know, I'd rather know
needederaseher: Coree it doesn't fucking change anything and the more I say the more vulnerable I become.
LAmovementisdead: okay then
needederaseher: And I think the state I am in as of now is pretty goddamn vulnerable.
LAmovementisdead: goddd, I'm so sorry Lauren
needederaseher: Please don't be.
needederaseher: It just makes it harder for me to deal with.
LAmovementisdead: well, is there anything really that I could do to make you feel better?
needederaseher: I don't think so.
needederaseher: It's one of those things you know
needederaseher: you can't really do anything about it
needederaseher: I can't even do anything about it
needederaseher: I just have to take it
needederaseher: I have to leave.
needederaseher: I hope I'll be up to going on Saturday.
LAmovementisdead: you'd better let me know
needederaseher: And I'm being completely honest.
needederaseher: I really want things to be ok after this.
needederaseher: I just.
LAmovementisdead: me too
needederaseher: Have to take it as it comes.
needederaseher: I'll talk to you later.
LAmovementisdead: bye Lauren

--Lauren

[what was ... what will be]