This all was only wishful thinking.

Reading his words. Apparently what they have really does mean a lot to him. Much to my dismay. Funny how it doesn't seem that way. Ignorance will blind you like that. "I am NOT going to fuck this up." He said (wrote) it. He meant it. And apparently that best-selling book that I've been seeing everywhere was dead-on with it's claim of he's just not that into you. But this is the sad truth I have to come with terms with. And let me tell you kids, it hit me out of something near nowhere and it hurts. Because I realize I genuinely love him. Not the hopeless-romantic type love, but genuine admiration and concern and desire for another human soul. So it sucks that this is my non-storybook ending.

The other girls always win.
And it's not fair.

Knowing what I now know, I don't think I want to see him or talk to him for a good long while.

Let it dissipate to nothing.

And see what I'm worth.

--Lauren

[what was ... what will be]